The picture speaks for itself.
RA.One
Had this been done by some novice who just entered bollywood then probably he would have been forgiven. But vetrans like Shah Rukh Khan trying to pull some thing off like this then it is just wrong.
Archive for the 'Thoughts' Category
It’s not that I do not endorse the need for proper English; it’s just that it is so so so damn frustrating.
Now I require a 7 in each band of Ielts for reasons that will not be said, actually I require an 8 but I will let that be for now. Now mind you that this is out of 9. The maximum you can get is 9.
An IELTS test consists of 4 parts, speaking, reading, listening and writing. I need to get a 7 in each of them.
I do not mind speaking reading and writing. What bugs me the most is the listening part?
I am essentially in a room with 50 plus people listing to a stupid stupid conversation between some random people and I have to hear them care fully
IELTS Listening Test
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=wHUrE6JCBUo#t=156s
it is at this point I want to put my head inside the speaker and grab hold of the Andersons neck and break it into two.
Is it not bad enough that these people do not think my masters in engineering degree is not a good threshold for English, that I am wasting one of my hard-earned weekends into proving my competence in English and on top of that paying an entire days salary for the same and they actually want to push me to the edge by making me listen to a conversation of someone looking for a house!!! This is an insult to my intelligence (slightly above average than a chimp) ….it is at these moments I feel my entire Engineering in its entirety was futile. I should have been studying for these English exams
Speaking listening writing have not been a trouble for me ever…I get a 7 and 8 in each of them. What holds me back is my illegible handwriting or disgraphia. “Mute man language” or a “chicken scratching the earth to peck insects” are the adjectives used to describe my handwriting. As I was in engineering this never came in my way, we had mostly equations and numerical, it was never really of much trouble or complain. More over it did help me with some mistakes I made in the exam.
What is that, is it a” +” (plus) or an” x” (multiplication sign), the benefit of the doubt went to me. Yiyee!!!
Doctors and Engineers have bad handwriting. We put a lot of effort into messing up our handwriting. It’s a profession thing.
Just because I do not get a 7 in writing I have to take the whole damn exam again and again and again.
My friend aptly put it, this is Karma. You just have to do it, over and over and over until you get the result. Think of climbing the stairs of the holy temple of Vaishno Devi (14 Kms of stairs) you just climb and climb and climb (it just keeps on coming!!!!) until you reach the temple.
I don’t mind the money I spend on it, I do mind the time I waste ( I could be finding the cure to cancer or eradicating world hunger, not that I would but I could) But what I really really hate is the insult to the intelligence I have to endure and listen to Mr Anderson house hunting…….!!!!!!
May be they should introduce a system where one can give the exam for a specific section instead of doing the whole thing. Someone listening???
A few poems by Bulla Shah taken from here
I am just copy pasting them here as that website is hosted on tripod and I have no idea when it will go down. I want to save the collection of the poem. I will keep updating this page as and when I find more and more poems
1.Chal Way Bullehya Chal O’thay Chaliyay
Jithay Saaray Annay
Na Koi Saadee Zaat PichHanay
Tay Na Koi Saanu Mannay
English translation
O’ Bulleh Shah let’s go there
Where everyone is blind
Where no one recognizes our caste (or race, or family name)
And where no one believes in us
2.Masjid Dha Day, Mandir Dha Day
Dha Day Jo Kujh Disda
Par Kissay Da Dil Na Dhawee(n)
Rub Dilaa(n) Wich Wasda
English translation
Tear down the Mosque, tear down the temple
Tear down every thing in sight
But don’t (tear down) break anyone’s heart
Because God lives there
I found this article at a recent Adelaide University Cricket club meet…
Read more about it here
‘this information has been prepared for the AUCC presentation night in a context where the people understand the nature and intent of the night and it is no way meant create offence or embarrassment”
My favourite part was the last one part 5 …and the winner. All of them are a good read
Adelaide University Cricket Club
KangaAward
Season 2010/11
One of the institutions of the Club’s annual dinner and trophy presentation is
the Kanga Award.
Tonight the winner of this award will be required to wear the following
ensemble for the remainder of the night.
The history of this Award is that in 1977, the opening bowler from the Club’s
bottom side was a Ph.D student from India known as Joe Edison.
Joe had what might be described as a healthy self esteem about his cricketing
ability, and believed that he should have been playing in either the Club’s A or
B grade team , and let that view be known on a number of occasions.
That year, the Indian test team was touring Australia, and on the eve of the test
match, Joe Edison was seen bowling in the nets to the Indian team.
The next day, an article appeared in the Melbourne Age sports pages in highly
disparaging terms about the quality of Joe Edison’s bowling to the tourists and
described his delivery stride as being a “giant kangaroo hop”.
And so the legend of Kanga was born, and every year since then the Club has
awarded the Kanga trophy to the player who commits the dopiest act, or makes
a complete fool of himself (on or off the field) during the year.
Nominations
3. How many left ump ?
During an LOA game Ravs had finished his umpiring stint and handed over the fr
counter to Jack during the swap over. He warned Jack to be careful with the
counter because “it’s a funny sort of a thing”. A seemingly noticed the
bemused look over Jack’s face Ravs then proceeded to go into a highly
detailed description of the algorithms required to ascertain that 6 balls had been
completed and that it was time to announce “Over” and move to square leg.
“You have to move this top right one clockwise but when it gets to 6 you have
to skip through 7,8 and 9 to be ready to start again at 0 for the next over.
When you record the total number of overs bowled, you also have to remember
that the top left reel represents the first number and the bottom middle reel the
second number – e.g. a 2 showing on the top left and a 5 on the bottom middle”
Ravs being the generous bloke that he is offered to go over this all again as “it
really can get quite tricky”. And given his penchant for numbers and his
profession he considers himself quite an authority … now are you sure you have
this jack? do you want me to continue if it’s a bit tough? Etc etc in a manner
that only ravs can do ….
Jack thanked him for his kind offer, but suggested he might instead piss off and
operate the counter as it was designed by using the bottom reel (which only
went up to 6) to count the number of balls in the over, and the top 2 reels to
record the total number of overs bowled. Ie use it the right way up !
Final Three – winner to be announced at the end
4. Very very straight or at least I am not bent.
Whilst I love a cricket theory as much as the next bloke this one took a bit for
me to swallow.
On passing one of the club stalwarts in the street during the off -season we
stopped for a chat which obviously turned to the coming season.
N ow this bloke has theories from different salt (and seaweed) content in the
pitches creating different opportunities for ball movement and to this end the
‘muncher’ has been known to hook his fangs into the pitch to assess the
saltiness of the conditions … He has also offered to demonstrate his ball that
speeds up once released … basically defying the common understanding of the
laws of physics.
What followed in the conversation was fairly radical to say the least – his view
was that he never got catches caught behind or in the slips and therefore he was
considering backing his ability to bowl straight and do away with a fairly
standard and common fielding position of the wicketkeeper … this sent
reverberations through the committee given that some effort has been put into
attracting new players etc but to then expose them to ‘the new form of fielding
positions’ might have been a bit much …
TP 1m sure one of these theories will come to fruition but this last one was a bit
radical even for me …
5. Which way is up OR which is heads and which is tails OR what on
earth should I call ?
In wet seasons, games are often decided by %e toss of the coin. This bloke
only won one toss as D grade captain la season (which was eventually rained
out), and his poor form continued C grade skipper this year. In the 7 games
before xmas, he managed to in the toss only once. 5 of these games were
severely rain affected, a the C grade batsman stood little chance, being
dobbed in every time.
The first game after xmas, was a 39 degree day, and as he strolled to
middle for the toss, his team followed, giving him some moral support. He
again lost the toss and we were sent in to field for 80 long overs. Naturally, the
following week, when it was their time to bat, it w~,S’/20 degrees, overcast and
humid, perfect bowling condition for Sturt.
He finally won a toss against Port Adelaide where his team made a healthy
total of 257. Right on cue, the second week was washed! In his two seasons as
captain, he has won 3 tosses, two of those games abandoned due to bad
weather, leaving him with one single meaningful win.
Although his teammates have been very keen on giving him advice, not to
mention the humble D grade captain … the secret behind his failures were
exposed the other night while watching the Gold Coast Suns at Tom Warne’s
place. The umpire in that game clearly stated to Ablett and Judd, that a
commemorative coin was being used, and that it had a “H and T” on it. .. Luke
turned around to Warne and Smoker and asked … “what does the Hand T stand
for?.?. ”
Not some of his finest work … Lucky for him his individual performances and
involvement around the club makes up for this … and just saves him from
another award.
Next year we will include in the captains handbook what the coin is for and
how to use it … .just in case
6. We walk at Uni mate!
I have heard this many a time from the likes of Tojo, Jack, Ravs
” we walk at uni mate when there is any doubt about an appeal and batsman
stands his ground ” … usually preceded with a verbal onslaught, war cry and
directions to the hot tap in the showers ….
This one puts a new twist on the perennial ‘we walk at Uni … ‘
This bloke managed to be dismissed 3 times in one ball. And apparently had
no regard for this unwritten rule …
a. Massive shout for LBW, given not out;
b. ‘ the ball was caught at gully on the full;
c. the fielder then threw down the stumps
d. (batsman wasn;t watching, neither was the umpire), so given not out. ..
Then batter tried to take a run as the ball deviated off the stumps, as batter
reached the other end, Opposition ask why he wasn’t out LBW, the umpire
said he had hit it, so they then quickly told the umpire that the bloke at Gully
caught it on the full. After about 30 seconds from the original appeal, a run out,
and then single, the batter was finally given out.
He later admitted that he was out both caught and run out.
Tom this is really inappropriate, given that everyone walk’s at Uni, therefore
you are the winner … please come up and accept your prize ….
Not so long ago one of my wisdom teeth decided to arrive crooked. Now this is particularly painful situation.
The dentist showed me a xray of my teeth coming out crooked, Sad, I some how knew this was about to happen. A dose of anaesthesia and many hours of uncomfortable silence later my wisdom teeth was out.
Here comes the twist. While my dentist is at removing my teeth he *discovers* three cavities in my teeth and advises me three root canals.
I am pretty sure I do not have a root canal. He takes an xray of me teeth and points out at something and tells me
“Can you see”
“Not quite, What exactly am i supposed to be looking at ?”
“The cavity! can’t you see?”
“No, not quite……”
After many hours of me playing “see me if you can” with the xray I take the dentist word for it.
Let me remissness how this began, the dentist began my wisdom teeth extraction by asking what I did for living
“I work for a oil company”
“Ahh I see, please open your mouth and spit me out some gold coins”
Now money is not really something I care for…I spent some 3 weeks with the dentist and all this time I was teeth less eating porridge or some thing of that nature and the pain I had to undergo…..Damn!
I am pretty sure that I had no cavities, I brush pretty regularly with mouth floss….What are all the advertisements about 5 out of 4 dentist recommending Colgate or some thing?
Now this has been the case with all my friends…they go in for a general check-up and end up having a tooth removed or root canal.
So my advice to you is the next time you think your dentist is cheating…please go for a second opinion
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