Now this is the best incidents , well I take it back …one of the best incidents of my schooling life.
So here I was caught bunking school, I was in class 9th.One of my friends (Manoj Chowdhary, the deepest circles of hell are reserved for traitors and mutineers ) had betrayed me and told the teacher.This was not a small thing.I could be rusticated/suspended for this.
My class teacher a nice female, Sneha Prabha Messey, she was the senior most teacher in the school and well she was the most feared teacher in our school.She, at times had more power than the principal herself.And to my luck she was my class teacher.
Now, this was the daily roll call .
Ther were 41 boys in the class and 9 girls. The devil himself had made this class…chose all the right ingredients ..A little bit a ginger, a little garlic (adrak) ,a hint cinnamon (Tez paatte) cardimon (elaichi) clove (loung) and Bay leaves (Nilgiri patta). Of course a lot of mirchi.
All “be a rebel attitude” hot blooded teenagers.I don’t think that you will be interested in our names so I will skip that part.
All you need to know is that yours truly, Tejaswy, was a part of it.And boy was I a part of it.!
Any way …. I was the 10 number in the roll call…..
Messey:”Beta Apaaalllla aap khadey ho jao… aap se Principal baat karege” (Son appalllla Please remain standing the principal will talk to you)
After saying this she left to fetch the principal…I knew I was in trouble and in big big trouble.
The whole class was murmuring.My friends showing their condolences to me.
“We will miss you appalla ”
“You were a nice guy”
“Do you want us to beat the shit out of manoj ?”
and in all these came out Prashant G.K, or better know as Malli , well because of obvious reason, he was a mallu.
“Appalla Appalla kya ho gaya ?” (What happened Appalla?)
I turned to him to tell my sad tale which was filled with betrayal but before I could do it Messey came and caught Malli
“Malli….early morning batey …. app aaj din bhar kaan pakad ke teachers desk te bagal me khade rahogey” (you have begun from early morning, you are to stand next to the teachers desk all day )
and to add insult to injury she also slapped him quite a fair amount …Bollywood style…
Phatak,
Phatak
Phatak.
Well Messey was famous for her combos.She will not slap once…she will slap in a combination, one to the face one to the back of the head and one more to the face, just like in the video game “Street Fighter”
Well poor Malli got what I deserved and well more.
The roll calls were over and she had to leave the class.She left the class and told me that I would be called in an hour or so as the Principal was in church. (Divine Intervention!!!).
Any way the Hindi teacher arrived and Messey gave her instruction not to let Malli sit in the class and he was to stand next to the teacher holding his ears all day.
Messey left and the Hindi class was about to begin.In the mean while Harris Khan, a fellow friend of mine came to the scene and went up to Malli….
and asks him
“Arrey Malli….kya hua? Yaha kyu khada hai ” (What happened malli ?, why are you standing here? )
Malli who was apparently pissed at Messey,well he was given a combo at the start of the day,forgetting that he was standing next to the Hindi teacher shouts back
“Bhen ke lodi messey ka fuse ud gaya hai!!!!” (Stupid bitch Messey’s fuse has gone out)
The whole class fell silent.
The hindi teacher stunned.
She turned back and replied
“Beta hummy to pata tha kee aap hamare peeth ke peechey boltey ho paar aab to had he hogaye hai..app to aab hamarey mauh pe bolne lagey ho”
(Son, we knew that you spoke behind our backs, but now a days you have become shame less and now you are abusing us in front of our face)
Now poor Malli….he dint know what to say…. “mam mam…mam mam”
Phatak Phatak Phatak Phatak Phatak
“Aap aise nahi sudhrogey, abhi principal ko bola ke le kar aate hu” (you will not change like this, I will call in the principal )
One more phatak on her way out to Malli,
She found one more teacher just at the door step and she told him the matter, She came in and “Phatak”
Now listen to this song, the number of times the word” Fatak” was said in this song was the number of times Malli was slapped.Play this song thrice you will get the number of times he was slapped in the whole day.
Now all the teachers in the school would get the news one by one and they came and showed their appreciation for it by a “Phatak”.
Now Messey had went to the church to get the principal, but the principal had come back to the office. The moment she reached the office she got the news. ” Stupid bitch Messey ka fuse ud gaya hai ”
She came in and whack goes Malli.
She called up Malli’s dad and he came in and bashed him black and blue…In all this commotion they forgot dear old me “Appalla” The sole reason as to why Malli was getting bashed.
Messey came back and she got this ground breaking news “Stupid bitch Messey ka fuse ud gaya” and she forgot me.It was a pretty serious thing.
The whole school came asking…….How dare he say “stupid bitch messey has lost her fuse”? whack boom bang …
“Ye Malli kaun hai ?” (who is this malli?)
Malli became world famous in our school, from the principal to the school peon, every one knew malli now.
And I escaped the lime light.
And just to be clear, Messey never once lay a hand on him.She understood the whole incident and did not blame him.
Messey we love you!!!
And for poor old Malli, “Quarbani Quarbani Quarbani Quarbani allah ko pyari hai kurbani” (Sacrifice Sacrifice Sacrifice Allah loves Sacrifice)
””. and ask for “MONALISA” beer..it is available
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