This episode involves Messey, my class teacher, Sameer dev, Kunal Kapoor,Angela Thomas, Haris Khan and dear old me.
So this was my Unit test of 20 marks and it was of maths.Despite the numerous amounts of tuition that i took in maths, it was never really my thing.I was still bad at it. (Not that my masters degree has helped.)
Anyway as mentioned, it was Maths test. The question paper pattern was like this.
One 8 marks question
two 4 marks question
and two more 2 marks question.
total 20 marks.
Now here is how our seating arrangement was.
Kunal and Sameer were in the row ahead of me and on the parallel row of Kunal was Angela Thomas.
Maths was a tough one.No amount of preparation can get you through with it.But I always try and well at times do tend to succeed.I got me a 80% in maths in my 12th.And more over such mundane things like unit test, class test, quizes, Half yearly, Final exams, board exams, AIEEE, did not matter to me.I am preparing for life!!
Sitting next to me was Haris Khan, he had no idea about the exam and he too was like me.He too was preparing for life but a little harder . He saw the question paper, did not take him long to realize that there was nothing much in it for him, folded the paper and put his head on the desk and asked me to wake him up 10 mins before the submission time.
Now I honestly knew one 2 mark question, the rest was a mystery to me.Messey was the class teacher and she was the one doing all the invigilation,Which meant, we all can cheat as long as we did not make any noise to wake her up.This was probably also the reason why I did not study for the exam.
Now I had done my 2 mark question and was waiting for the right time for Messey to doze of so that I can copy another 8 marks question so that I have a healthy 10 marks in the unit test. I did not want more than 10 marks. Like i said ….I am preparing for life.
Apparently every one was clue less about rest of the paper except for a few geeks who were scribbling like rats eating cheese.
So all the 4 of us were sitting idle.
Now Angela Thomas, a very dear friend of mine had done a 8 marks question.
O that is good…Now I can pass.
But Messey was still awake and was looking around.I had to wait till she dozes off to take the sheet from her and write down the answers.
The moment Messey closed her eye, Kunal leapt at Angela and took the answer sheet from her. He copied it and passed it along to sameer dev.Time was running short now and Angela was getting rest less about getting her paper back now. It was pretty clear to me that I will not be able to get a hold of Angela’s paper and that I will fail.I had to dare….Who dares wins.!!!!
Ok, gooddy.I slowly stood up and looked at sameer’s paper and started copying down the answers.This was do or die for me. Haris Khan could have easily seen the answer sheet from where he was sitting, the angle was perfect for him, But for me it was a hard angle. Think of it like this a sniper having to hit a grape on top of an apple on top of a running lion leaping on a deer.That is a bit too much, but then try to understand the angle.
Any way it was a long answer.I was at the second last line “x=…..”
“Beta Appallllllllllllllllla” Messey pronounced.
She had woke up just 5 mins before the bell and had caught me.
I was done. Failed, there was no hope of saving. I will fail and will have to encounter a Combo (one slap to the face, one slap to the head and one slap to the face again, that is a Messey combo)By that loud shrek, Haris Khan woke up.He looked at me,smiled and said
“Tu to gaya” (Your luck has run out !!!)
He was right..I lift my head to see Messey getting ready to get up, she fixed her saree and got up.
But now here is where my luck did a power play .
Sameer Dev had panicked as he thought that he too would be caught. He panicked and gave Angela’s paper to Kunal. Kunal was happily playing Tic Tac Toe all by him self, trying to figure out a victorious start to the game, when Sameer dev threw Angela’s answer sheet at him. His white face went red out of panic. No other living creature can change colour as fast as his face color changed. He saw Messey walking towards him, and threw the paper at Angela.
Angela had no idea on where her paper was.The paper landed on the floor right in the middle of the row partition.Messey had seen some commotion between the boys surrounding my desk.I was not involved.All i had to do was sit down and look at the paper with my head down with a Eureka moment.
Messey bent down, Picked the paper and read the name aloud….. “Angela Thomas”
“Angela ye tumhara paper kunal ke pass kaise aya” ( Child Angela , How did your answer sheet get to Kunal”)
She caught hold of Kunal and gave a combo (Combo : As in the game street fighter, One slap to the face one to the back and one to the face again…combo)
“Nahi tum batao….Kaisey aaya ?” (You tell me how he got it ?)
Kunal kept getting combo after combo until Angela had something new to tell. After she gave a lame explanation that the wind blew her paper off her desk and it fell down on the ground and Kunal picked it up, she got a combo, I think that did make Kunal feel a little better, but that too for a little time.Just enough time to get some air. Very soon it was Kunal’s turn again.
He kept on getting Combo’s until the exam was over.
She had totally forgotten me. Good old me. Kunal’s face went from White to Red to Black and then Blue.
Kunal took pride in his hair.He had long black hair to which he would apply oil , gel water, comb and everything that is available under the God’s blue sky.
Messey took advantage of this and went for it.She pulled, pushed, tugged, knotted his hair.Man, it was like a white cow being dragged by its tail.Hilarious!!!!
Sameer and me were laughing and giggling on our seats.The exam bells rang. The exam was over. Messey stopped made Kunal stand in the corner.Collected all the answer sheets except Kunal’s.
I escaped after submitting my answer sheet and I hid at a safe place in the recess.
I am told that Messey went another 10 mins with Kunal and then left the room.She was trying to set an example for other kids. “Don’t sit next to sameer in class” and in retrospect” if you want to live do not sit next to him in a bike” Read Haridwar bike trip
In the recess, Kunal was trying to hunt me down.
That was a really really close call. When the results came a week later, Sameer got a 10 out of 20, Haris got a 0, Angela got a 12 and I got a 8.Apparently I got that 2 marks question wrong.Damn!!!! But I am preparing for life.
I have never been able to talk to Kunal ever since. I am still scared that he will beat me up.
Messey had beaten him miserably. Well blame Sameer Dev for it. He panicked and gave the paper to Kunal, that poor chap was playing Tic tac toe all by himself.
But then ….”Quarbani Quarbani Quarbani….Allah ko pyari hai quarbani “(Sacrifice Sacrifice Sacrifice Allah loves Sacrifice)
And O, I changed the name of the girl to Angela Thomas as the real girl has now become a teacher.
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Well I won one more award for my blog….man I am on a roll….. I just hope that i do not roll off the hill
Thank you guys!!!!!!!


moral of all stories are same : Sameer se bach ke raho…
Tejaswy,
This is surely one of the best ROFL posts I have read in quite sometime
This eased me of my writer’s block, thanks for that!
And happy new year
Happy new year
Gr8 post! I too reminisced my unit test days
Congratulations fellow winner on the award!
and a Happy New Year!
Fuck..!!!
The whole thing comes alive while one goes through your blog..it’s fuckin awesome and ineffably great.
Since I was in a different section…I never knew much about this very incident but then everyday…there was some or the other thing happening in 9th B which made every teacher to lash all their sufferings and misery in their life so far out on you guys and still fall flat on their paunch.
I wish I could make Messy read every post of yours. She’ll go on a rampage killing each one of us one by one.
And You’re bloody loaded with lucky stars under your A***.
A great post.
By the way..ye Angela Thomas kaun hai?
Who has now become a teacher?
Now that teja has already narrated this incident, I think it is necessary to let every body know the truth. Well, the truth is that this incident happened. However, what is also true is that it would not have happened, had our dear blogger exercised some restraint….had he not tried to copy fanatically from the paper in my hand, Messay would not have noticed him, I would not have freaked out at Messy walking towards me, Kunal would not have panicked at the last moment and he and poor Angela would have escaped the combos. However, as it is said, “jo hona hai so ho ke rahega”. But i must admit that it was one of the most hilarious incidents of the most happening year of my school life (obviously not for Kunal and Angela). Also, our dear blogger deserves a standing applause as he has described the moment perfectly. I could see it happening in front of my eyes as i was reading it. Bravo my friend. I am looking forward to more such stuff from you, as even you know that you don’t have any shortage of content to talk about. After all, as i said earlier, 9th B was ‘THE’ year of my life….infact our life.