Monthly Archive for December, 2009

Sneha Prabha Messey

Now this is the best incidents , well I take it back …one of the best incidents of my schooling life.

So here I was caught bunking school, I was in class 9th.One of my friends (Manoj Chowdhary, the deepest circles of hell are reserved for traitors and mutineers ) had betrayed me and told the teacher.This was not a small thing.I could be rusticated/suspended for this.

My class teacher a nice female, Sneha Prabha Messey,  she was the senior most teacher in the school and well she was the most feared teacher in our school.She, at times had more power than the principal herself.And to my luck she was my class teacher.

Now, this was the daily roll call .

Ther were 41 boys in the class and 9 girls. The devil himself had made this class…chose all the right ingredients ..A little bit a ginger, a little garlic (adrak) ,a hint  cinnamon (Tez paatte) cardimon (elaichi) clove (loung) and Bay leaves (Nilgiri patta). Of course  a lot of mirchi.

All “be a rebel attitude” hot blooded teenagers.I don’t think that you will be interested in our names so I will skip that part.

All you need to know is that yours truly, Tejaswy, was a part of it.And boy was I a part of it.!

Any way ….  I was the 10 number in the roll call…..

Messey:”Beta Apaaalllla aap khadey ho jao… aap se Principal baat karege” (Son appalllla Please remain standing the principal will talk to you)

After saying this she left to fetch the principal…I knew I was in trouble and in big big trouble.

The whole class was murmuring.My  friends showing their condolences to me.

“We will miss you appalla ”

“You were a nice guy”

“Do you want us to beat the shit out of manoj ?”

and in all these came out Prashant G.K, or better know as Malli , well because of obvious reason, he was a mallu.

“Appalla Appalla kya ho gaya ?” (What happened Appalla?)

I turned to him to tell my sad tale which was filled with betrayal but before I could do it Messey came and caught Malli

“Malli….early morning batey …. app aaj din bhar kaan pakad ke teachers desk te bagal me khade rahogey” (you have begun from early morning, you are to stand next to the teachers desk all day )

and to add insult to injury she also slapped him quite a fair amount …Bollywood style…

Phatak,

Phatak

Phatak.

Well Messey was famous for her combos.She will not slap once…she will slap in a combination, one to the face one to the back of the head and one more to the face, just like in the video game “Street Fighter”

Well poor Malli got what I deserved and well more.

The roll calls were over and she had to leave the class.She left the class and told me that I would be called in an hour or so as the Principal was in church. (Divine Intervention!!!).

Any way the Hindi teacher arrived and Messey gave her instruction not to let Malli sit in the class and he was to stand next to the teacher holding his ears all day.

Messey left and the Hindi class was about to begin.In the mean while Harris Khan, a fellow friend of mine came to the scene and went up to  Malli….

and asks him

“Arrey Malli….kya hua? Yaha kyu khada hai ” (What happened malli ?, why are you standing here? )

Malli who was apparently pissed at Messey,well he was given a combo at the start of the day,forgetting that he was standing next to the Hindi teacher shouts back

“Bhen ke lodi messey ka fuse ud gaya hai!!!!”  (Stupid bitch Messey’s fuse has gone out)

The whole class fell silent.

The hindi teacher stunned.

She turned back and replied

“Beta hummy to pata tha kee aap hamare peeth ke peechey boltey ho paar aab to had he hogaye hai..app to aab hamarey mauh pe bolne lagey ho”

(Son, we knew that you spoke behind our backs, but now a days you have become shame less and now you are abusing us in front of our face)

Now poor Malli….he dint know what to say…. “mam mam…mam mam”

Phatak Phatak Phatak Phatak Phatak

“Aap aise nahi sudhrogey, abhi principal ko bola ke le kar aate hu” (you will not change like this, I will call in the principal )

One more phatak on her way out to Malli,

She found one more teacher just at the door step and she told him the matter, She came in and  “Phatak”

Now listen to this song, the number of times the word” Fatak” was said in this song was the number of times Malli was slapped.Play this song thrice you will get the number of times he was slapped in the whole day.

Now all the teachers in the school would get the news one by one and they came and showed their appreciation for it by a “Phatak”.

Now Messey had went to the church to get the principal, but the principal had come back to the office. The moment she reached the office she got the news. ” Stupid bitch Messey ka fuse ud gaya hai ”

She came in and whack goes Malli.

She called up Malli’s dad and he came in and bashed him black and blue…In all this commotion they forgot dear old me “Appalla” The sole reason as to why Malli  was getting bashed.

Messey came back and she got this ground breaking news “Stupid bitch Messey ka fuse ud gaya” and she forgot me.It was a pretty serious thing.

The whole school came asking…….How dare he say “stupid bitch messey has lost her fuse”? whack boom bang …

“Ye Malli kaun hai ?” (who is this malli?)

Malli became world famous in our school, from the principal to the school peon, every one knew malli now.

And I escaped the lime light.

And just to be clear, Messey never once lay a hand on him.She understood the whole incident and did not blame him.

Messey we love you!!!

And for poor old  Malli, “Quarbani Quarbani  Quarbani Quarbani allah ko pyari hai kurbani” (Sacrifice Sacrifice Sacrifice Allah loves Sacrifice)

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Global Warming a myth 2

Recently in the US,the United States’ largest business lobby is pushing for a public trial to examine the evidence of global warming and have a judge make a ruling on whether human beings are warming the planet to dangerous effect.

I wrote an article on global warming earlier which can be found here .

A few comments which i thought were nice and witty …Mostly from Slashdot

C02, something we exhale with every breath you take. Without this gas life on earth would not be possible. Plants require this gas to live, indeed when this gas is abundant plants thrive. This gas is given off by all animals. A gas that is turned back into O2 by the plants, plants which we require to survive. All these things are well established facts, as valid as the earth is round.

Now a group of people (they are just people after all, not gods) come along and literally say "We may not have all the data, we don’t even know if the data we have is valid, in fact we know we don’t have all the data, and what we do have is invalid or at the very best incomplete, and even if we did have all the data we haven’t a clue how this "weather" thing works anyway, but we put this partial and incorrect data into this computer (apparently called deus ex machina) and it says that C02 is actually bad for the environment because we predict it will alter the weather! Even though our predictions thus far are incorrect, just take our word for it. And anyone who does not believe us or pokes holes in our data or logic is a stupid AGW denier that also believes the earth is flat."

Anyone want to explain why I should believe someone who would say such a thing? If that isn’t the AGW argument, perhaps someone can explain what part is inconsistent with the AGW argument. And now the government and politicians wants to grab the helm of this out of control religion (after all it does require a degree of faith) and start telling people what they can and can’t do "because of global warming" while they (the politicians) make millions of dollars by robbing us blind. This whole thing stinks! And if that really is the AGW argument, why on earth would anyone, without some ulterior motive, believe such a thing.

There is still very little _EVIDENCE_ of mankind-created global warming.

You have Al Gore and his people making money by owning companies that sell exhaust rights.

You have oil companies making money out of ignoring or pushing the issue forward.

What we don’t have is a consensus, as the OP points out.

 

For example, right now (since 2000) we have global cooling (around 0.5 degrees). We are also heading towards a small ice age, our eliptical orbiting around the sun is about to change as it does "frequently" leading to us being further away from the sun in the coming millennias.

The IPCC still refuses to provide either the data from which they created their apocalyptic graphs from, or the models they used to do the predictions. This goes massively against the scientific standpoint of providing an open view into research to allow valid verification or falsification.

And what most people are forgetting: There is a climate change going on, it has always been going on and it will always do so. The question is how we are to adopt to it, not if we are disillusioned enough to think we can stop the planets natural processes and freeze it in something that we right now think is a global optima.

Nasa Graph showes that the earth is actually cooling rather than warming up

The whole global warming issue has been presented in a manner that

 

a) It’s mankind’s fault and

b) We have to throw money at it to fix it because it was caused by man kind.

See,Science does not go hand-in-hand with majority opinion – neither does science require consensus, nor does consensus imply any connection to reality.

Just because majority of people believe that global warming is happening it does not mean that  it will happen.

Not long ago there was once a time when people thought that the Earth was flat and Earth was the center of the Universe .What happened to them now.?

 

Now if at all it is proved that global warming is false i wonder what impact it will have on Al Gore’s Nobel prize.

I, personally, believe *most* of the ‘Global Warming’ rhetoric is nonsense and there simply isn’t enough data to support Humans are the primary cause of any major changes and that the ‘science’ fails to take a lot of other things into account.

That does *not* mean I support destroying the environment!

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Bafila / Dee Shee episode

The Bafila/Dee Shee episode.
Well C.k.Jain ( the person who shall not be named) had troubles with remembering the names.
Well it so happened that Dee Shee (Short for Deep Chandra Pandey) and Bafila both had a DR (Directed Reading) in 6th semester.

You guys know how the DR thing works.
CK jain heard pretty nasty things about Dee Shee but had never seen him,he kept on thinking DeeShee was Bafila
and Bafila was Dee Shee.So every time Dee Shee went to submit assignments,he hardly took the time to read them,
Dee Shee got his NOC like a breeze.

Now when it was Bafila’s turn, Ck jain thought that he was Dee Shee and started yelling “you good for nothing ….
what do you think i am ,you will not get the NOC,I know you like the back of my hand Deep chandrrrrra pandey….
get out ,get out now ”

Bafila was perplexed…..he could not understand what had just happened…….For a while he thought that
Ck Jain had an attack,he stood there trying to figure out what exactly had happened.In the mean while Ck Jain
again looked at Bafila and threw his NOC at him ( with out signing ) ,stood up and yelled ” Deep Chandrrrrra pandey
Get out of my room”

After many many moons Bafila finally managed to get hold of Dee Shee and took him to Ck Jain and told him the
difference……..

But “NO”

Ck jain refused to believe him

Ck jain you rock man!!!!

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Global Warming…

This seems to be the new trend now a days…lets blame everything on Global warming….

Everything from the heat wave in Paris to heavy snows in Buffalo has been blamed on people burning gasoline to fuel their cars, and coal and natural gas to heat, cool and electrify.

BJP lost election…..blame it on global warming

I mean come on… you guys are reasonable intellectual people.. aren’t you..

Ice age…remember ice age? well even the movie will help

Earth has been hit by 4 ice ages

There have been at least four major ice ages in the Earth’s past.

The earliest hypothesized ice age, called the Huronian, was around 2.7 to 2.3 billion years ago during the early Proterozoic Eon.

The earliest well-documented ice age, and probably the most severe of the last 1 billion years, occurred from 850 to 630 million years ago (the Cryogenian period) and may have produced a Snowball Earth in which glacial ice sheets reached the equator[26], possibly being ended by the accumulation of greenhouse gases such as CO2 produced by volcanoes. “The presence of ice on the continents and pack ice on the oceans would inhibit both silicate weathering and photosynthesis, which are the two major sinks for CO2 at present.”[27] It has been suggested that the end of this ice age was responsible for the subsequent Ediacaran and Cambrian Explosion, though this theory is recent and controversial.

Causes of ice ages

The causes of ice ages remain controversial for both the large-scale ice age periods and the smaller ebb and flow of glacial–interglacial periods within an ice age. The consensus is that several factors are important: atmospheric composition (the concentrations of carbon dioxide, methane); changes in the Earth’s orbit around the Sun known as Milankovitch cycles (and possibly the Sun’s orbit around the galaxy); the motion of tectonic plates resulting in changes in the relative location and amount of continental and oceanic crust on the Earth’s surface, which affect wind and ocean currents; variations in solar output; the orbital dynamics of the Earth-Moon system; and the impact of relatively large meteorites, and volcanism including eruptions of supervolcanoes.

Some of these factors influence each other. For example, changes in Earth’s atmospheric composition (especially the concentrations of greenhouse gases) may alter the climate, while climate change itself can change the atmospheric composition (for example by changing the rate at which weathering removes CO2).

Maureen Raymo, William Ruddiman and others propose that the Tibetan and Colorado Plateaus are immense CO2 “scrubbers” with a capacity to remove enough CO2 from the global atmosphere to be a significant causal factor of the 40 million year Cenozoic Cooling trend. They further claim that approximately half of their uplift (and CO2 “scrubbing” capacity) occurred in the past 10 million years.[33][34]

So what we learn from this is that there have been 4 ice eages in the past and NONE of them have been caused by human beings…

So I am pretty sure that the next ice age will not be a fault of Human beings either.

See there is not enough data to predict global warming.Think about it for a second.Human beings have been on earth for only 200,000 years

Mitochondrial DNA and fossil evidence indicates that modern humans originated in Africa about 200,000 years ago.[4] Humans now inhabit every

Now the Industrial revolution started some where in 18th century and has gone on till now,approximately  200 years.

So lets get somethings straight right away

Humans in their 200,000 years of existence on earth have ruined the atmosphere of the earth?

The age of earth is accepted to be around 5 billion years, so

200,000/5000000000

So Humans have only inhabited 1/25000th of the total life span of the earth.

Hmm…okay …. the Industrial revolution started only in 200 years…so that reduces it to 1/25000000 the of the earths total life span.

And this in this fraction to the time spent by human beings on earth…we manged to trigger a global warming ?

Well that is an achievement by the human race.If true we should be proud of it.

let me draw this number game a little further

Do we have data for all the 200,000 years that we have survived on this planet. Well no… Okay SO what data do we have….We only have data for last 30 years at the best.

30/2500000000 of the data we have and we are off predicting global warming and Ice age.

I keep telling people that we do not have enough data to predict if we are warming up for good or warming for bad,if at all if it is caused by humans.

Human beings as a race will come to extinction, just like the dinosaurs , Did dinosaurs die of global warming ? No.

May be we will be hit by a meteorite or some zombie like dieseas, but for sure it will not be global warming.

The glaciers in the artic ocean are melting at an alarming rate….we should worry ….. I ask why…not very long ago  they were plain grass lands where mamoths would graze peace fully, they froze to death in a sudden instance where

Why would the woolly mammoth, bison, woolly rhinoceros, and horse be attracted to Siberia? Today, Siberia is a barren, blizzard-scourged wilderness. How could the animals have endured the extremely cold winters? What would they eat? Where would the beasts locate the prodigious quantities of water they require when the land is imprisoned in snow and ice? Even the rivers are covered with several feet of ice every winter. Most puzzling of all is how did the mammoths and their companions die en masse and how could they have become encased in the permafrost?Over time, various clues about the environment at the time of their death have been discovered and studied. Scientists found partially preserved stomach vegetation in some of the carcasses and so could identify the woolly mammoth’s last meal. Solving one mystery just leads to another. They wondered how the stomach contents remained half decayed while the animals froze? This is a problem since it takes a long time to freeze an animal as large as an elephant. A quick freeze came to mind. Birds Eye Frozen Foods Company ran the calculations and came up with a staggering –150°F (–100°C). Once again, the scientists were puzzled. How could such temperatures be reached on earth, especially when apparently they were in a fairly temperate environment before the quick freeze?

Many theories have been postulated. One of the most popular is that the hairy elephants were peacefully grazing on grass and buttercups and were suddenly struck by a huge freezing storm blowing from the Arctic Ocean. Millions of them froze instantly. This kind of quick freeze has never been observed, so some special and imaginative ideas have been proposed

http://www.answersingenesis.org/home/area/fit/chapter1.asp

So What ever hit the poor grazing mammoth killed it instantly, it was actually chewing the grass when the cold breeze hit it and froze it.It wasn’t global warming which killed it.

To be continued.

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